The Autism Handbook for Adults

Their daughter was verbal, bright, and performing well in preschool. When a speech therapist suggested an evaluation, it felt wrong — she wasn’t what they imagined autism “looked like.” But at home, meltdowns were escalating. Transitions were impossible. Birthday parties, grocery stores, anything that broke her routine — all of it was a crisis.

The evaluation confirmed autism. And the report became the most useful document they’d ever received. Within a month, her school had an IEP in place with sensory accommodations and occupational therapy. Insurance approved ABA within two weeks.

“Before the diagnosis, we were managing chaos. After it, we had a plan. The report wasn’t just paperwork — it was the thing that unlocked every service she needed.”

When her twins were diagnosed at 3, she wasn’t surprised. Neither spoke, and they had repetitive behaviors she recognized. What she didn’t expect was how hard it would be to find help.

There were zero adapted activities for her sons outside of school. She drove 40 minutes to find a community center that offered swimming, dance, and art for kids with special needs. It was the only way they could have a social life.

When school services fell short, she and her husband relocated to a better district. In 18 months, both boys improved — in school, in therapy, and in social skills. One son, who was non-verbal, now communicates.

“Don’t limit your kid just because they have autism. It might take them longer. They might have more difficulties. But they can do it. Get them involved in activities. Let them enjoy the world.”

When her son was diagnosed at 3, she felt relief — finally, an explanation. But the next phase was a marathon. Every agency had pages and pages of forms. She estimates she filled out over 150 pages between speech, OT, ABA, and the evaluating doctor. There was no time to breathe.

A social worker offered perspective that stuck: getting services a year earlier during the pandemic wouldn’t have made much difference — virtual therapy wasn’t very effective then. She wasn’t behind.

Her son didn’t speak at all at 3. At 5, he’s verbal, speaking in sentences, and can tell her when he’s happy, sad, or tired. An AAC device — which initially worried her — actually built his confidence and helped him speak more.

“ABA really changed things. And any vision you have for your family — going out to eat, doing normal things together — it’s possible to work toward. Just remember: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”